i dont give a damn to who's gonna read this,
but i just need to get this out of me.
seriously, i cant keep it inside of me anymore.
you know what sucks.i tell you what sucks.
seeing you suffer emotionally sucks.
i am not sure exactly whether it is because of her,
but i really hate seeing you like this.
i want to help you in all ways that i can but you are not letting me to..
ok maybe it is just me.. over concerning too much and being too over protective
but i regard you more than a friend. i say. more than a friend.
you can just tell me not to if you do not want..
do you think the day i went to look for you was just for fun, to say hi
no it is not. i am telling you no.
who does that. you wont ever do that, no one does.
i badly needed someone to share something with after 3 days of feeling like this
but yea. you walked away.
i cried till i fell asleep the previous night,
i cried to van on that exact same day,
i cried myself to sleep after that.
it was one of the most torturing moments ever
but you werent there.
only God knew what i was going through.
all the time, everytime i am feeling sad/happy/whatever
you are always the first one i thought of to share with.
and i hate that feeling of me kept thinking of you.
it simply is. whatever/everything i do reminds me of you.
why you):
and there are many more i think i should not say.
you need a break, i think need one too.
you think you are the only one going through this,
you are not the only one.
maybe it is just me being too sensitive over things but
it has been really long since i have let everything out
so im just gonna do it here to show you that you are not alone.
most of the times i felt like breaking down, many times, because of you
but i really really thank God for his miraculous motivation
that kept me going all these while..
even when surfing the net at my most suckiest moments
an motivational advert pop out from a church
and all of a sudden i receive a message about Jesus again.
at least i know God's there for me always
and he is someone i can cast all my burdens to.
oh well, i think i should really stop talking to you.
till then.